Fashion

Is this right? is the whole fashion thing a bunch of sexual deviants some place, making random, and totally impractical clothes which they then sell to people for vast amounts of money. What a scam. Look at the fashion at the moment. its all 50`s patterns and 80`s haircuts (did you see the fashion media do the mother of u turns on that wondrous hair invention, the mullet)
did the fashion people have a year off or something?

Berty, darling, ive got this fantastic idea, the boys in research have come up with this fantastic material, it make fat people look thin, can be any colour under the sun, doesn’t need cleaning and can bring you to orgasm 20 seconds quicker than corduroy. it is made from old fridges and odd socks, and it tastes of chicken, but is only half the calories and has omega 3 in it. it’ll revolutionize the world. man will love his fellow man... er? in the good way. No more wars, no famine and everybody will look great.....
ahh balls to it lets just bring back the 80`s


why don`t we try this with other things

are you cool, are you one groovy cat?, well your not the king of the hill until you’ve got.......RICKETS. That’s it, that pig will just breeze past you in that passage you bendy legged supreeemo

don`t get me started on skinny jeans.

I know its just a matter of time before i see some victim with a white line across his face like adam and the ants, and when I do I’m gonna hit him, out of principle. No I’m not I’m gonna do one of those Hawaii 5 0 karate neck chops and then drive a ford cortina over him.

Bunch of arse

Its not freakin rocket science (pt1)

PEOPLE WHO DRIVE IN THE MIDDLE LANE ON THE MOTORWAY

I’ve been doing quite a lot of motorway driving lately. i know the rules that nice mr T(he) Law tells us to follow. but it seems that allot of other people Only have a passing acquaintance as to how its supposed to work, and FUCK IT UP FOR EVERYBODY ELSE!
instead of driving on the left, and using the middle and right lanes for overtaking it becomes

left hand side. trucks, caravans and old people.

middle lane people who want to overtake the above and twats.

right lane....... me.

i do not have a penis car.
(it is my firm conviction that the size or power of a guys car is inversely proportional to the size of his wife’s best friend. I drive a micra. i am not gay. and i don’t piss into a bag.)

i drive a micra. I’m not proud of it, but it get me from A(here) to B (someplace else)
I have to thrape 7 shades out of it in the fast lane because even though the left hand lane is empty (apart from the lorry 6 miles away) there’s some mystery of evolution trundling along in the middle lane, doing 65. their either:

some guy with white hair and maybe driving gloves, probably in a merc or jag

a youngish woman, with 10 to 2 hands, in a 206

some twat with a "baby on board" thing in the back window (or twat tag as i call em)

its against the law to "undertake" on the left so what do people do? they drive right up to them in the left lane. hover just behind them, to make a point (even though anybody thinking this ticktack through would know that they cant actually see you there...duh!)
and then make a grand sweep over to the right lane, tutting and grumbling. floor it past them. Then cut in front of them as close as possible, as they lunge back into the left lane. you may say this is the only recourse we bastions of the motorway have. Well hold on, these people are evidently quite mentally deficient, the last thing we need to do is swerve around in front of them. they may panic and crash and burn. You may say this would be a blessing, but after sitting for 3 hours in a jam because some moron cant drive in a strait line i think there is a better way. nothing amazing, just follow them, find out where they live, and when they get out the car, hit them with a spade. I’m not condoning murder but...... actually i am.
Perform the service, lighten the world, one moron at a time.

Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this, that you are dreadfully like other people.

James Russell Lowell
US diplomat, essayist, & poet (1819 - 1891)